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Urgent & emergency

You Found a Goodbye Note From Your Teen: What to Do Right Now

A goodbye note from your teen is an emergency. Stay with them, ask directly about suicide, remove anything dangerous, and call 988 or 911 now. Help is available 24/7.

First: stay with your teen and do not leave them alone

Go to your teen now and stay physically with them. The most important thing in this moment is that they are not alone. Speak calmly and warmly — even if you are frightened. You do not need the perfect words; your presence and steadiness matter most. Asking someone directly whether they are thinking about suicide does not increase their risk and often brings relief that someone noticed 1. You can say: "I found your note and I'm scared. I love you. Are you thinking about ending your life?"

Remove access to anything dangerous

While you stay with your teen, make their environment safe. Putting time and distance between a person in crisis and lethal means — especially firearms, but also medications, sharp objects, and car keys — is one of the most effective ways to prevent a suicide attempt 2. If there is a firearm in the home, remove it or lock it away off-site if you safely can. Lock up or remove medications. These steps buy time, and crises pass.

Call for help right now

Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) for free, confidential support any time, day or night — trained counselors can help you and talk with your teen, and connect you to local resources 3. Call 911 if your teen is in immediate danger, has access to a weapon they will not give up, or has already harmed themselves. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. If you are not sure whether the situation is serious enough, it is — make the call.

Stay close and follow the counselor's guidance

A crisis counselor may help you make a short safety plan and decide whether your teen needs to be seen in an emergency department tonight 4. Keep listening without arguing or lecturing. Reflect back what you hear, and tell your teen you will get through this together. Continue to stay with them until a professional has assessed their safety.

Why a clinician helps now and in the days ahead

A clinician can do what a worried parent cannot do alone. In an emergency department or crisis setting, trained staff use brief validated screening such as the Ask Suicide-Screening Questions (ASQ) to gauge immediate risk in youth 5, and structured tools like the Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale to understand the severity of suicidal thoughts and any plan 6. A clinician can build a collaborative safety plan with you and your teen — an evidence-based step for getting through acute crises 4 — and guide you through reducing access to lethal means at home 2. Suicide is a leading cause of death among adolescents, and pediatric and mental-health clinicians are equipped to identify and treat at-risk youth 7. They can also arrange follow-up care so your teen is supported well beyond tonight.

Common questions

Will asking my teen about suicide make things worse?

No. Asking directly and calmly about suicide does not plant the idea or increase risk; it often brings relief that someone has noticed and cares [1]. It is one of the recommended first steps when someone may be at risk.

Should I go to the emergency room or call 988 first?

If there is immediate danger — a weapon they won't give up, or they've already hurt themselves — call 911 or go to the ER. Otherwise, call or text 988 right away; counselors can help you assess the situation and decide whether an ER visit is needed tonight [3].

What if my teen gets angry that I found the note?

That can happen, and it's okay. Stay calm, stay with them, and keep them safe. Their safety comes before their privacy or their anger in this moment. A crisis counselor can coach you through the conversation [3].

This is an emergency — act now

  • —A goodbye note, will, or giving away prized possessions
  • —Talking about wanting to die, being a burden, or having no reason to live
  • —Access to a firearm, medications, or other means of harm
  • —Already having harmed themselves
  • —Withdrawing completely, or sudden calm after deep distress

Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line) now. If there is immediate danger, call 911.

This page is general educational information for an emergency and is not a substitute for immediate professional help; call 988 or 911 now.

References

  1. 1.National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) (2024). 5 Action Steps to Help Someone Having Thoughts of Suicide (Ask, Be There, Keep Them Safe, Help Them Connect, Follow Up). National Institute of Mental Health. link ✓Asking directly about suicide does not increase risk and is a recommended action step for supporting someone at risk.
  2. 2.Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, Means Matter (2024). Lethal Means Counseling. Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health (Means Matter). link ✓Reducing access to lethal means, especially firearms, is an evidence-based way to prevent a suicide attempt.
  3. 3.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) (2024). 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. SAMHSA (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services). link ✓988 provides free, confidential, 24/7 crisis support by call, text, or chat through local crisis centers.
  4. 4.Stanley B, Brown GK (2012). Safety Planning Intervention: A Brief Intervention to Mitigate Suicide Risk. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice. doi:10.1016/j.cbpra.2011.01.001 ✓The Safety Planning Intervention is a brief, collaborative, evidence-informed best practice for mitigating an acute suicidal crisis.
  5. 5.Horowitz LM, Bridge JA, Teach SJ, Ballard E, Klima J, Rosenstein DL, Wharff EA, Ginnis K, Cannon E, Joshi P, Pao M (2012). Ask Suicide-Screening Questions (ASQ): A Brief Instrument for the Pediatric Emergency Department. Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine. doi:10.1001/archpediatrics.2012.1276 ✓The 4-item ASQ has high sensitivity for identifying suicide risk in youth.
  6. 6.Posner K, Brown GK, Stanley B, Brent DA, Yershova KV, Oquendo MA, Currier GW, Melvin GA, Greenhill L, Shen S, Mann JJ (2011). The Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale: Initial Validity and Internal Consistency Findings From Three Multisite Studies With Adolescents and Adults. American Journal of Psychiatry. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2011.10111704 ✓The C-SSRS is a validated measure of suicidal ideation severity and behavior in adolescents.
  7. 7.Shain B; AAP Committee on Adolescence (2016). Suicide and Suicide Attempts in Adolescents. Pediatrics. doi:10.1542/peds.2016-1420 ✓Suicide is a leading cause of death among adolescents and clinicians should identify and manage at-risk youth.

7 sources, numbered by first appearance. General health information, not medical advice — synthetic demonstration content.