mental-health/stress-adjustment

We moved across the country and I feel like a ghost here

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But last night my mom sat on the edge of my bed and said 'you've been so quiet lately, and you're not really you - what's going on?' and I just kind of froze and said 'I don't know, I just miss home so much.' It was the first time I said it out loud.

Last updated: July 2026

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What this can feel like

I'm 15 and we moved across the country in August for my dad's job, and I still feel like a ghost at my new school. Everybody already has their friend groups and I eat lunch in the library so it's not obvious I have no one. I text my old friends back home but the time difference means they're already asleep by the time I'm free, and slowly the group chat moved on without me. I keep getting this heavy homesick feeling in my chest, and some mornings I feel almost sick and don't want to get out of bed. I've been hiding it pretty well, I thought. But last night my mom sat on the edge of my bed and said 'you've been so quiet lately, and you're not really you - what's going on?' and I just kind of froze and said 'I don't know, I just miss home so much.' It was the first time I said it out loud. After she left I looked up how long it takes to stop feeling homesick after moving as a teenager. I don't want to make my parents feel guilty for moving us. But it helped that she noticed before I had to figure out how to bring it up.

What's a first step I can take?

Affirm that saying 'I miss home so much' out loud, and letting her mom in, were real first steps Offer one small optional step, like a lower-pressure way to meet people or telling a counselor she's new

Common questions

Feeling homesick, lonely, and even a little sick in the mornings after a big move is a really common adjustment response, not a sign something's wrong with you. It usually eases as you build new connections. If it drags on for months or keeps you from school and sleep, that's worth telling someone.

You can separate the feeling from blame: 'I know we had to move and I'm not mad - I'm just really homesick and having a hard time, and I wanted you to know.' Most parents would much rather know than have you hide it. Your mom already opened that door.

It's slow, and it's not just you - established groups feel closed to every new person. Lower-pressure entry points like a club, a team, or one lab partner tend to work better than the cafeteria. A school counselor can also help you find a way in.

Related

Say it back

How would you explain this to someone you love?

Two or three sentences, just as you’d say it. Gale reflects back what you focused on — a mirror, not a quiz.

If things feel heavy, a person is available anytime — call or text 988.

Talk to a clinician

Gale can help you find a clinician in your state and request a visit.

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When it's worth telling someone

  • —The homesickness and low mood have dragged on for months instead of slowly easing
  • —It's keeping you from school, sleep, eating, or trying to connect with anyone at all
  • —You feel completely alone, hopeless, or like things won't ever get better
  • —You notice thoughts of hurting yourself, or that you'd be better off gone

Call or text 988 - the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, free and 24/7. If this is a medical emergency, call 911.

This is general information to help you make sense of what you're feeling, not a diagnosis or medical advice. Only a qualified professional can tell you what's going on for you.

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