mental-health/trauma

things I thought I'd dealt with

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Things I thought I'd dealt with a long time ago are coming back, and I don't understand the timing. I'm 24, nonbinary, finally in a steady relationship and a steady job - the calmest my life has ever been - and somehow that's when the old stuff started leaking in. A certain tone

Last updated: July 2026

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What this can feel like

Things I thought I'd dealt with a long time ago are coming back, and I don't understand the timing. I'm 24, nonbinary, finally in a steady relationship and a steady job - the calmest my life has ever been - and somehow that's when the old stuff started leaking in. A certain tone of voice, a door closing too hard, and suddenly I'm not in the room anymore, I'm small again and my whole body floods. Other times I go the opposite way and feel nothing at all, watching my own life through glass. My partner is gentle and I still flinch sometimes, and then I hate that I flinched, because they've never given me a reason to. I always figured surviving it meant I was over it. Apparently the body keeps its own calendar. Last week, after one of the flooded nights, I opened a teletherapy app and got as far as filling in my name before I set the phone down, because choosing 'trauma' from a dropdown made it real in a way I wasn't ready for. I keep thinking the fact that it's surfacing now, when I'm finally safe, maybe means some part of me has decided it's finally okay to look.

What's a first step I can take?

Note that a trauma-informed therapist, including via teletherapy, is one option at their pace Reassure they don't have to categorize it or tell the whole story to start

Common questions

It's more common than people realize. When your nervous system finally senses safety, it can start letting out what it had to lock away to get through. It's not you falling apart - it can be a sign some part of you feels safe enough to look.

Surviving and healing aren't the same thing, and that's not a failure on your part. The flooding and the numbness are the body's way of flagging unfinished business - which can be worked through with the right support, at your pace.

You don't have to categorize it perfectly or tell the whole story to begin. Many find trauma-informed therapists via teletherapy directories, sliding-scale clinics, or their doctor. 'Old things are surfacing and I want help holding them' is enough to start.

Related

Say it back

How would you explain this to someone you love?

Two or three sentences, just as you’d say it. Gale reflects back what you focused on — a mirror, not a quiz.

If things feel heavy, a person is available anytime — call or text 988.

Talk to a clinician

Gale can help you find a clinician in your state and request a visit.

Find care →

When to reach out sooner

  • —Flashbacks, flooding, or numb spells that are getting more frequent or harder to come back from
  • —Not feeling safe or present in your body, or it's straining your relationship or work
  • —Feeling hopeless, or turning to anything that scares you to make the feelings stop

Call or text 988 - the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, free and 24/7. If this is a medical emergency, call 911.

This is general information to help you understand what you're feeling, not a diagnosis or medical advice. Only a qualified professional can tell you what's going on for you.

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