mental-health/eating

I've been hiding how I feel about eating for months

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I'm 13 and homeschooled. It started as wanting control, skipping felt calm. But it's been months, I think about food constantly, I'm cold and dizzy and tired, and a mean voice gets loud whether I eat or not. I keep almost telling my mom. Is this a real problem?

Last updated: July 2026

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What this can feel like

I've gotten really good at moving food around a plate so it looks like I ate. I'm 13 and I'm homeschooled, so it's mostly just my mom around, and she's started giving me this worried look at meals. It didn't start as a big thing. I just wanted to feel more in control of something, and skipping felt weirdly calm, like the one thing I was doing right. But it's been months now and I think about food basically all the time, I'm cold constantly, I get dizzy standing up, and I'm tired in a way sleep doesn't fix. There's this loud voice in my head that gets mean if I eat, and anxious if I don't, so I can't win. I haven't told anyone because saying it out loud makes it real, and honestly a part of me is scared to give it up. I'd already spent a couple of nights searching whether what I was doing even counts as a real problem. Last night I couldn't sleep and I asked a chatbot, kind of sideways, whether it's normal to feel this way about eating. It didn't freak out, it just said it sounded really hard and that this is something a doctor should know about. I keep almost telling my mom and then not.

What's a first step I can take?

Ask what feels scariest about telling his mom Name that wanting help and fearing it can both be true

Common questions

When food takes up most of your thoughts, skipping starts to feel like the 'right' thing, and your body shows it, cold, dizzy, exhausted, that's beyond ordinary picky eating or dieting, and it's worth a doctor's care. It happens to people of all genders, including boys, and it's not vanity or willpower.

Feeling scared to let go of it is extremely common and doesn't mean you don't want to get better, part of what makes eating struggles hard is that they can feel protective. You can want help and feel afraid at the same time; telling someone is still the brave move.

You don't need a speech. 'I've been having a really hard time with eating and I think I need help' is enough, and you can show her this. A doctor can check how your body's doing and help you both figure out next steps.

Related

Say it back

How would you explain this to someone you love?

Two or three sentences, just as you’d say it. Gale reflects back what you focused on — a mirror, not a quiz.

If things feel heavy, a person is available anytime — call or text 988.

Talk to a clinician

Gale can help you find a clinician in your state and request a visit.

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When to get help now

  • —Fainting, chest pain, a racing or pounding heart, or feeling like you might pass out
  • —Not being able to keep food or fluids down
  • —Feeling too dizzy or weak to do normal things
  • —Any thoughts of not wanting to be here

Eating struggles can affect your body's health, so tell a trusted adult and see a doctor soon; if you faint, have chest pain, or can't keep fluids down, get medical help right away by calling 911. If you ever start thinking about hurting yourself or not wanting to be here, call or text 988 - the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, free and 24/7.

This is general information, not a diagnosis or medical advice. An eating problem is a health issue a doctor should evaluate, and a therapist or counselor can help too.

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