mental-health/depression

Everything feels grey since I moved and I don't know why

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I moved for work eight months ago and still don't know anyone. I'm 23. I figured the flat, far-away feeling was just the newness, but it's only gotten heavier and food doesn't taste like much. I keep asking a chatbot if I'm depressed or just lonely because it feels safer than a person.

Last updated: July 2026

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Screening tool

PHQ-9

A validated, public-domain questionnaire that measures depression symptoms over the last two weeks — a screen, not a diagnosis, validated for adults 18 and older. 9 questions · about 3 minutes.

Take the 3-minute PHQ-9 depression screening →

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What this can feel like

I moved across the country for work about eight months ago, and I still don't really know anyone here. I'm 23. At first I figured the flatness was just the newness wearing off, but it hasn't lifted, it's gotten heavier. I get through the workday fine, I can perform, but the second I close my laptop the apartment is so quiet it feels loud, and I mostly just lie there. Food doesn't taste like much. I let my mom's calls go to voicemail because I don't want to worry her, and honestly in my family you don't really talk about this stuff, you just push through and be grateful you have a job. I started typing things into an AI chatbot late at night, stuff like 'how do you know if you're depressed or just lonely,' because it felt safer than saying it out loud to a person who'd look at me different. It said some of what I described lines up with depression and that I should think about talking to a doctor. I don't have a regular doctor here yet. I don't even know how you find one who'd get it.

What's a first step I can take?

If naming it feels hard, offer 'flat and far-away' or 'heavy' as words to try Offer to help find a culturally-sensitive or telehealth provider they could see privately

Common questions

Loneliness after a big move is normal, but when the flatness lasts for weeks, follows you everywhere, and drains your interest and appetite, it can tip into depression. You don't have to sort out which it is alone, and that's a good thing to bring to a professional.

You don't have to change your whole family to get help for yourself. You can start privately, with a doctor, a therapist, or a confidential line, without making it a family conversation until you want to.

It's an extremely common first step, and a screen can feel safer than a face. The most useful thing it can do is help you find the words and point you toward a person who can actually help.

Related

Say it back

How would you explain this to someone you love?

Two or three sentences, just as you’d say it. Gale reflects back what you focused on — a mirror, not a quiz.

If things feel heavy, a person is available anytime — call or text 988.

Talk to a clinician

Gale can help you find a clinician in your state and request a visit.

Find care →

When loneliness becomes more than adjusting

  • —a flat or heavy mood that lasts most of the day for two weeks or more
  • —losing interest, appetite, or the ability to enjoy things
  • —pulling away from everyone and cutting off contact
  • —feeling hopeless or like nothing will change

If you ever feel unsafe or start having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), free and 24/7. If it's a medical emergency, call 911.

This is general information, not medical advice or a diagnosis. A licensed professional can help assess what's going on for you.

References

  1. 1. (2010). Perceived barriers and facilitators to mental health help-seeking in young people: a systematic review. BMC Psychiatry. PMID 21192795young people commonly cite stigma and a preference for self-reliance as barriers to seeking mental health help
  2. 2. (2019). Young People's Online Help-Seeking and Mental Health Difficulties: Systematic Narrative Review. J Med Internet Res. PMID 31742562young people often turn to online and anonymous sources as an early step before disclosing to a person

2 sources, numbered by first appearance. General health information, not medical advice. AI-assisted editorial content — citations link their sources. Editorial policy

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