mental-health/depression

Since graduating I feel flat and the counselor I had is gone

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Nobody warned me that graduating would mean losing the counselor who kept me steady for two years. Now I'm 23, in my first real job, and everything's gone flat, and I have no idea how you find a therapist as an actual adult.

Last updated: July 2026

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What this can feel like

Nobody warned me that graduating would mean losing the one person who kept me steady. For two years I had a counselor on campus, walked in, talked, walked out, free. Then I got the diploma and the email that said my sessions were ending, and just like that the door closed. I'm 23 now, six months into my first real job, and everything has gone kind of grey. I get up, I commute, I answer emails, I come home and stare at my phone until it's late enough to sleep. The stuff I used to look forward to feels like a chore I'm bad at. I keep thinking I'll feel normal once I settle in, but it's been half a year and the flatness hasn't lifted. Guys my age don't exactly sit around comparing therapists, so I have no clue how you even find one out here, whether my insurance covers it, or if you're supposed to start with your regular doctor. I finally typed how to find a therapist after college into my phone on the train home last week. I haven't clicked anything yet. It just felt like the first honest thing I'd done in a while.

What's a first step I can take?

What did the campus counselor give you that you're missing most right now? If grey had a volume knob, where's it been sitting these six months?

Common questions

Start with your health insurance's provider directory or a site like Psychology Today, or ask a primary care doctor for a referral, they can also begin treatment while you search. Losing campus counseling doesn't mean starting from zero.

Adjustment usually eases within a few weeks. Months of greyness, low motivation, and losing interest in things you used to enjoy is more than settling in, and it's worth talking to someone about.

Yes, plenty do, they just don't always talk about it. Feeling this way isn't weak or unusual, and reaching out is a normal, practical move, not an overreaction.

Related

Say it back

How would you explain this to someone you love?

Two or three sentences, just as you’d say it. Gale reflects back what you focused on — a mirror, not a quiz.

If things feel heavy, a person is available anytime — call or text 988.

Talk to a clinician

Gale can help you find a clinician in your state and request a visit.

Find care →

When to reach out sooner

  • —the flatness deepening into hopelessness
  • —pulling away from everyone
  • —relying on alcohol or substances to feel something
  • —thoughts that you'd be better off gone

Call or text 988 - the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, free and 24/7. If this is a medical emergency, call 911.

This is general information, not medical advice or a diagnosis. If you're worried about yourself or someone else, talk to a licensed professional.

References

  1. 1. (2005). Lifetime prevalence and age-of-onset distributions of DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Archives of General Psychiatry. PMID 15939837Three-quarters of lifetime mental-health conditions have begun by the mid-twenties, so persistent low mood in early adulthood commonly reflects a real, treatable condition rather than only adjustment.

1 sources, numbered by first appearance. General health information, not medical advice. AI-assisted editorial content — citations link their sources. Editorial policy

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